Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize