NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
