Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
