Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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