ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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