so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
