no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
