maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
