i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
