Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
