i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
