Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
kristin has been a bad kristin
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
