Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i think i scared a bird with my dick
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
