The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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