I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
