"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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