You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he was CRYING into my vagina
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
