No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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