What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
We're too hungover to prance.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
