Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
