i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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