Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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