For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
