Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
