im about as happy as oj after his trial
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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