The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize