You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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