My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
