If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
