so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
