Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
