I heard we made out
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
she looked like the before picture.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
