I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We just shotgunned beers for America
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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