i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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