every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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