sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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