ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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