So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
how drunk are you?
Several
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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