i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
