She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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