I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
