Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
My breasts were aching with rage.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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