Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just gift wrapped bread.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
