are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
