bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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