her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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