you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
