she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
