Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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