It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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