You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
