absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
