While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
