For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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