you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize