guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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