I'm gonna have a badass scar
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
