So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
