the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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