I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We just shotgunned beers for America
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
