roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
