just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
