please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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