i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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