thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
ugly people sure do ruin things
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
