I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I looked at my own cervix.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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