a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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