I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
