What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
