He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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