Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
