would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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