We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
