in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
