Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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