ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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